I was hoping that I could go out with a friend but as usual she came up with her lousy excuses that I get every so often when I want to go out and have a bit of fun.
I haven't seen her since just before Christmas and were always working and don't get the chance to see each other and I though Saturday nights are usually the good nights which I heard a mates band were on should be a good evening to go out.
I mentioned this night the other day and mentioned it again this afternoon. She was texting me back but kind of ignoring it and changing the subject of tonight. I asked her about it as someone else had asked me if i were out and thought it be good for us to go out and didn't hear anything for ages till she replied that family friends of there's had been round and it was too late this was at 9.3o and I replied I didn't mind it take me some time to get ready but still no 'she wasn't feeling it and 'we can't talk with bands on' always have to be about her.
She can go out other evenings with her mates and have a good night and tell me about it later in the week like as if she were rubbing it in but when ever I want to do something the lousy excuses prop up. The best one is 'period pain' how silly. Like she avoids to go out with me after all the things I do for her as well.
There isn't many people round here I have a friends most have moved away and doing there own thing. I feel like I'm 12 again the miserable years of spending weekends off school on my own and not doing anything else and trying to hang out with school friends always found they were doing something better than to hang out with me.
She says we'll do something next week I just said don't believe it you'll probs use the same excuse or something which she probs will.
After all the horrible things she said about me a few months back how she no longer wanted to be my friend and how horrible person I am I tried to make it up with her but now I'm thinking hold on its not me thats the prob its you. Especially if you make someone feel lousy about themselves and always letting them down what kind of a friend is that?!
So tonight instead of going out seeing some bands, chilling with good company and chatting to those I haven't seen in a while I'm getting drunk home alone. The life of a 25 year old :D
Awwww Lauren, you don’t need mates that let you down consistently but also you can’t bank on one mate. People can’t always be bothered and that’s just life.
ReplyDeleteTry and live a hectic lifestyle so when a mate lets you down your not that bothered that you have to stay in. Or as your Nan would say "don’t put all your eggs in one basket". I know this feeling as when I lived at the Spinney I often was climbing the walls and banking on one event which didn’t always occur leaving me feeling really frustrated. Now I am the one cancelling as I am knackered and quite like a lil me time.
Honestly though Loz I think you need to join a college, go to uni or something such like so you can meet mates with common interests so you can feel like you belong. Then you won’t care if a mate keeps cancelling as you will have other options...
Life’s for living kidder, if you don’t like something then change it!
Feel the fear then do it anyway
(Or come and see me in Newcastle) xx
Not you as well lol. I've done College/studying thing had enough of it. Nothing I'd want to do. Without that 'so called friend' I don't have many round here I'm more on my own well it kinda feels like that even with her as a friend.
ReplyDeleteSuppose I'm the last out of everybody to move away, get hitched and get pregnant.
Everybody elses lives are moving on around them and changing mines on a stand still.
I want my own cupcake business that'll be a good start persuade the parents for a loan for a shop and away I goooo!
I know I have only been in my job like a few months but starting to get bored of it. All I seem to do is work and not much else. I miss wearing proper clothes ! hehe x